Two days in a row I've been assaulted by the song "Eat For Two" while on hold (with the same company). Both times I had to listen to the part that goes "You know where this will lead, to hush and rock in the nursery, for the kicking one inside of me. I eat for two, walk for two, breathe for two now."
It ripped my heart out.
I couldn't help but imagine the (fictional?) woman who's perspective this is sung from: too young, not ready, but maybe in love; full of regret, but thinking of her unborn baby, kicking inside of her.
I have to admit that it made me long to be that woman. I guess I could have been that woman (maybe). One break of the condom and I could have been knocked up at 23, too young, not ready. It happened to a good friend of mine. She and the father, her partner, have a beautiful, smart 11 year old daughter now.
When I imagine the woman who is the subject of this song, I imagine my friend, alone in her pregnancy, with all of her friends still in school, or just embarking on their first jobs, maybe taking some time off after finishing college to see the world (I had just moved away from my college town after graduating when I found out about her pregnancy). And there she was, pregnant and unmarried (the father, also a good friend, did stick with her, although I know he was scared).
I wasn't envious for her then. But I am so envious of her now.
Maybe it's because that song, truly, is a beautiful song, and it kinda glorifies young unwed mothers a bit. Doesn't it?
Ugh. Gimme a baby, already, universe! Or please please stop torturing me!
Is There Anybody Out There?
5 months ago
ugh, that would have made me NUTS. in fact, i think i would've hung up, talked to someone else, and IF i heard THAT song again, i would've hung up again :o) but i'm nutty like that.
ReplyDeletewishing you lots of luck for this ivf cycle. i know it's scary that you had to get to this point, but the success rates are so much higher than with iui's, so i'm very hopeful for you :o)
That song would have definitely made me nuts. Just reading the lyrics right now on-line kind of pissed me off!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I think about what we all go through to get pregnant I can't even imagine how on earth it is possible that people get pregnant accidentally. It just shocks me.
It's amazing how that stuff crops up precisely where you don't expect it, and exactly when you need it least:( I also have friends for whom it happened too early. I also look back and realize how easily it could have happened to me (the twenties: not the smartest stage in a girl's development). On one hand I know it would have been terrible, that I wouldn't have done the other things I needed to do in life. On the other hand, I do wonder sometimes...
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing the little things that can unravel us. UGH! I'm trying to breathe through the horrible moments and be more zen. It's working about 30% of the time, so far. :)
ReplyDelete