(Click to See My Fertility Chart)

Monday, August 16, 2010

I Punched Him In the Face

Just kidding. I wish. But I did confront him.

I didn't think I could do it, I didn't think I had it in me. But I was urged on by your comments. It was pretty unanimous that I should confront him. And I had to admit to myself that it was the right thing to do. The problem was that I did not want to do it. Instead I wanted to bury my head in the sand. But then I thought, well, what if I did? It would be turning over a new leaf for myself, and maybe it was time for me to turn over a new leaf: the standing up for myself leaf. So, I decided what I was going to say, and I stuck a post-it to my computer with the 3 main phrases that I wanted to make sure I used: "not called for," "not appropriate," and "disrespectful." I spent 10 minutes repeating them over and over in my head so that I wouldn't forget, and then I called him into my office. As I waited for him my heart was beating so loudly in my chest I thought he would be able to hear it when he came into the room. But then... all of a sudden I started to get mad. Mad that I was sitting there with a post-it note and my heart racing all because he gets a power trip out of giving me shit. And when I got mad my heart stopped racing and I became calm. And he came in and I said "I just want to tell you that I didn't appreciate your criticism on Friday. It was not called for, it was not appropriate, and it was disrespectful." And then he apologized. Sincerely. He said that he had felt bad afterwards and that I was right, he shouldn't have criticized me like that, and then he apologized again. And so my anger melted away and I started to get anxious again (ugh!). And I said it wasn't a big deal and that I appreciated the apology. But my voice cracked a little when I said it. Luckily, I had already planned that as soon as I talked to him I was going to leave for the day, so I then said "Okay, I'm off!" and walked out the door!

Thanks for your supportive and encouraging comments. They really meant a lot to me. I'm so glad I stood up for myself. Such a little thing, but a step in the right direction (and, boy, I would never make it in the "real" business world, sheesh!!).

11 comments:

  1. EXCELLENT. I'm so glad. It's a tough thing to do but here is hoping that confronting him nipped things in the bud, and that he'll think twice about reacting that way in the future. (Glad you didn't punch him in the face, though I'd have been sorely tempted:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good job. I can't believe an employee would speak to you like that! Now you have reasserted your dominance and deserve a lovely treat!

    ReplyDelete
  3. it's hard when people have foot in mouth disease. It sounds like you were able to let this person know that you really are the boss. I fully respect a boss who does this in a respectful way and with any luck there will be no repeats. You simply don't need this kind of stress on top of what seems to be a stressful workplace!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sounds like you handled it perfectly. You were able to remind him to act professionally and respectful, and he realised that he had acted badly and apologised. Good for you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Go Jane!!! You rocked it....professional, calm, articulate, level-headed. And that's great he responded like an underling (and decent person!) should've. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good for you! You kicked ass! Now if you could just send your confidence my way for only a brief period of time, I'd be ever so grateful. I promise to return it unscathed! ;p

    ReplyDelete
  7. Awesome job- I am so proud of you. As a manager I know how hard it can be to discipline...so good job!And I'm glad he apologized! Glad you slid right out after, perfect escape plan! xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sounds like you handled it pretty well. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  9. You were able to handle the situation well, girl! A big round of appluase for you! You acted professionally! Planning really helps us in situations like that. Showing madness wouldn't be the coolest thing to do as a manager. At least, you were able to imagine that you punched him in the face! :D

    --Stephen Schaunt

    ReplyDelete