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Saturday, August 14, 2010

These Are the Bullet Points of My Life

I know I haven't posted in forever. The truth is that I seem to have over scheduled myself. I panicked a bit when I first realized this, but hey, maybe this is the best time to be over scheduled? Gotta keep busy, right? So, a bullet point post is in order, to convey my current bullet pointed life:
  • Today is day 11 of lupron. I've been told if I don't get my period after 13 days of lupron, I have to turn myself in to the period police, er, I mean my RE. Hopefully it doesn't come to that. AF is due tomorrow, but I have been googling and it seems sometimes lupron will delay one's period by a few days. I am just starting to feel little twinges of cramps down there, which usually means that AF is still a few days away, so we'll see.
  • At first I thought lupron was my bitch. But lupron is sneaky, and now I'm thinking lupron might have turned the tables on me. Headache: check. Irritability: check. Fatigue: uh, CHECK. Hot flashes: eh, not so much. YET, that sneaky SOB!!
  • I have given up coffee, both decaf and regular, and am avoiding most caffeine. This could also explain my headache, irritability and fatigue. Yeah, so giving up coffee SUUUUUUCKS!! Don't let anyone tell you different. If you've been drinking coffee every day for the past 20 years, it is NOT fun to give up.
  • I have taken on another volunteer position. This is a big part of me being over scheduled. It's only 6-8 hours a week, but on top of my other volunteer position, which is about 10 hours a week, it's kind of feeling like a lot. But I kinda flipped out that if I can't have a baby than I need to go back to grad school so I can have a REAL career and for that I need to be able to have letters of recommendation in the field I'm interested in, THUS, the volunteer position. If you want to make fun of me for wanting to go back to school at 35, I will not hold it against you.
  • I made an appointment with an acupuncturist and will start going twice a week. I had thought about it before, but it wasn't until I read on someone's blog that acupuncture cured their teeth grinding that I decided to go for it. If she can make me stop grinding my teeth I will be so happy. I've been doing it for 4 or 5 years now (maybe longer, but it's been 4-5 years since it's affecting my day to day life) and my jaw and teeth ache all the time and I hate it. Oh, and if she can help me have a baby, that's cool, too.
  • My fertile friend (the one with 3 kids and the only person I've shared our TTC struggles with) is coming to town in a week and a half and is going to stay with us for a few days. Not exactly sure where I'll be in my cycle then , but most likely I will be stimming and getting close to retrieval. Now, some would question as to whether or not it's a good idea to have a bunch of little kids running around my house at that point in my IVF cycle. I, however, just want to get my hands on her baby again. I think if I can just cuddle her baby for a few days, maybe my uterus will finally "get it." But, we'll see. My uterus is a hard nut to crack.
The last thing I'd like to write about is a workplace issue. Fun, right? And I'm just going to put it out there right now, so there's no question as to my purpose with these last paragraphs. I'm looking for some sympathy, people!

Ok, so I own a small business and I have employees. This is the first and only business that I've owned, and I've never managed employees before, so I don't know if this is common or not (any other employers or managers out there please let me know), but my employees kinda treat me like shit. One in particular. This is a story about that employee.

Now, I don't want to tell you what business I'm in, since I'm trying to remain somewhat anonymous, but I'll just say that on some days I will do the same work that is expected of my employees, and I believe strongly in the "lead by example" motto, and so when I'm doing the same work that I ask them to do, I do it well (if I do say so myself). But I have one employee in particular that likes to criticize my work. Which leads me to yesterday's incident. It was a busy day yesterday, and I rushed to complete all the tasks that needed to be done, but was not successful. This was not necessarily my fault: I was on my own, with no help, and different things kept coming up all day that were getting me more and more behind. I knew at one point that there was no way that I would be able to catch up. When my employee arrived at his designated time and he saw that I hadn't completed everything, I made the comment to him that "it was a busy day." He then said (sarcastically) "yeah, right, lot's going on, huh? Real busy? Isn't it always for you?" And I said that, well, yes, it had been busy, actually, and what's the big deal? And he said the big deal is that I'm the only one that doesn't get all the work done when it needs to be done and that I'm always coming up with "slacker excuses." At that point I just walked away.

Now tell me that that isn't a super disrespectful thing to say to your boss? And he says this stuff to me all that time. And, I hate to say it, he makes me feel really bad. He is always questioning my decisions, often in a subtly mocking sort of way ("How many of [product x] did you order? You really think we need that amount?") or asking me to do things for him ("Can you get [product x] from the back for me?"). And I don't know what to do about it. I would really like to fire him, but we are a small company and 1) I know it would rock our little world if I were to fire someone; 2) I don't have the time or inclination to hire someone new and train them; and 3) I don't know if I have it in me to fire someone.

I would like to just ignore this behavior, and to just not engage him when he acts like this (I am guilty of trying to defend myself against his accusations in the past, which he usually just turns into "oh, excuses, excuses."). But maybe I need to confront him?

Anyway, I was in tears much of last night due to him accusing me of being a "slacker" yesterday and I, for obvious reasons, don't need this BS right now.

******And finally, please go say "congratulations!!!!" to Egg over at Such a Good Egg on her long awaited BFP!!!******


  1. He is a total ass! I hate that employee! Do the other employees have issues with him as well? I would try to have a talk with him (I know it will be stinkin' awkward but might be worth it?) or just make his life hell...and maybe he'll quit? Tough call, and I really have NO IDEA what you should do! Owning a business must be a tough job! Hoping this cycle goes well for you! Fingers crossed!

  2. I would start by making a simple comment like " You shouldnt talk to your boss like that" and see what he says or if he stops. Then if he continues have the serious talk.

  3. Omg. I can't even imagine someone talking to any coworker like that much less their boss!! I think you should say whqt the pp said and then, if it continues, you need to have a serious talk with him. That is just ridiculous. This man is an idiot if he doesn't realize that this is a TOUGH job market and talking like that can get you fired and get you NO recommendations for the future.

    Thinking AF thoughts for you so Lupron can get kicked out sooner than later!!

  4. I think you need to confront him and have a serious discussion about his attitude. That's completely unacceptable! On another note I think having friends with children around when stimming is a great distraction:)

  5. You certainly have a lot on your plate at the moment - but hopefully that will keep you busy and away from obsessing too much over this cycle (although I find that I am quite good at multitasking obsession and other chores). My husband runs a lab, and after "having words" with a bad employee for over a year, he finally had to give him notice and let him go. What is worse for company morale? Firing an employee or keeping one around who is full of negative comments? How does he treat your other employees?

    Hope that AF shows up soon.

  6. #1 Who knew that acupuncture can cure grinding teeth?!? Why the heck am I sleeping with a mouth guard when I could just get some needles stuck in me. And to think I wasted my acu appt's on IF issues. Clearly, that got me nowhere. Hope it works out for you. :)
    #2 Your employee is an ass that hates having a woman as his boss and likes to pick on you to pad his ego. That's just my interpretation. Good luck in dealing with him - he'll never change. Stupid ass!

  7. I would pull that employee aside and have a talk wit him. Let him know that his beahvior is unacceptable and you will NOT under any circumstances tolerate that disprespect anymore. Give him examples if you must. You are the owner which means you have much more responsibility that he does - so things come up during the day that he or your other emplooyees might not have to deal with during their shifts. I would definately nip that issue because as much as you dont want to hire and train someone new, it might actually be less energy and effort than dealing with the emotional consequences of that dildos behavior.

    Just my two cents ;)

  8. He's a complete douche. I would say "Fire him" except that it sounds like that would be more effort than its worth. But he definitely needs an attitude readjustment. Sounds like he thinks that he is the boss, but until he starts paying the overhead and until it's his name on the line, he needs to shut up. I would confront him. And I wouldn't make it one of those "I'd like to give you a chance to have your say" situations. He's your employee. He's being disrespectful. He needs to shut up. Period. (SOOooooooo much easier said than done, I know).

    One of the reasons why I think you should confront him is because of your upcoming cycle. You do not need to deal with this crap when you are cycling. Period. You deserve better.

    Fingers crossed for AF's appearance, your visit with your friend. And the coffee...sigh.

  9. Not. Okay. Not at all!!! I am in a manager position and I personally suck at it....I am soooo anti-confrontation that I end up being walked all over. That said, I've gotten better about it over the past 6 months and it is liberating and also (surprise!) makes my job easier. Sometimes I write down what I'm going to say to the person before I do it. One trick I learned in a (surprisingly helpful) management training workshop. Sandwich criticism in between two pieces of praise. So you begin and end on a positive note....leaving you and your asshole employee feeling less horrible abt the situation.

    Also, you are kicking so much as$ this cycle and I am so excited for you. Take care of yourself!! Do what you have to do with this work jerkball--you have enough stressors in your life right now!

    Zen zen zen zen. xo