Just kidding. I wish. But I did confront him.
I didn't think I could do it, I didn't think I had it in me. But I was urged on by your comments. It was pretty unanimous that I should confront him. And I had to admit to myself that it was the right thing to do. The problem was that I did not want to do it. Instead I wanted to bury my head in the sand. But then I thought, well, what if I did? It would be turning over a new leaf for myself, and maybe it was time for me to turn over a new leaf: the standing up for myself leaf. So, I decided what I was going to say, and I stuck a post-it to my computer with the 3 main phrases that I wanted to make sure I used: "not called for," "not appropriate," and "disrespectful." I spent 10 minutes repeating them over and over in my head so that I wouldn't forget, and then I called him into my office. As I waited for him my heart was beating so loudly in my chest I thought he would be able to hear it when he came into the room. But then... all of a sudden I started to get mad. Mad that I was sitting there with a post-it note and my heart racing all because he gets a power trip out of giving me shit. And when I got mad my heart stopped racing and I became calm. And he came in and I said "I just want to tell you that I didn't appreciate your criticism on Friday. It was not called for, it was not appropriate, and it was disrespectful." And then he apologized. Sincerely. He said that he had felt bad afterwards and that I was right, he shouldn't have criticized me like that, and then he apologized again. And so my anger melted away and I started to get anxious again (ugh!). And I said it wasn't a big deal and that I appreciated the apology. But my voice cracked a little when I said it. Luckily, I had already planned that as soon as I talked to him I was going to leave for the day, so I then said "Okay, I'm off!" and walked out the door!
Thanks for your supportive and encouraging comments. They really meant a lot to me. I'm so glad I stood up for myself. Such a little thing, but a step in the right direction (and, boy, I would never make it in the "real" business world, sheesh!!).
It's the little things
1 week ago