My estrogen from yesterday's b/w came back and it's 169. My RE actually called me and left me a voicemail with this number, which he's never done before, so that got me worried and, of course, I started googling estrogen levels. From what I've found out it seems really low, especially for CD12, and especially with a Friday IUI.
In his voicemail my RE gave me the number and then said he was just confirming that I would be coming in on Wednesday for more monitoring. Um, I just saw him 5 hours ago, why does he need to confirm this? The only thing I can think, since he didn't mention the IUI, is that now, based on my low estrogen, he's rethinking the Friday IUI. Which I guess is good, although that would probably move the IUI to Monday, CD19, which seems really late (although in non-medicated cycles I often ovulate on CD18 or 20, so maybe this is actually more natural for me?).
Ugh. I hate this part, the week leading up to the IUI. Last cycle it was all that crazy octo.mom BS of too many follicles. I really wanted last cycle to have been a learning experience that would make this cycle absolutely perfect, with a lovely lining, a few nice sized follies and a well-timed IUI, but now it seems like maybe the gonal-f was too little this time? Or is there something wrong with me? When I saw the RE yesterday he was very positive and told me I had nice ovaries and was having a good response based on my follicles... but I'm just worried, worried, worried.
It's just that I'm tired of these IUIs. With only a 20% success rate (if that), and especially because now they're not completely covered by my insurance, it's starting to seem like we're throwing our money away. If they were covered by insurance, I might feel like we could just keep trying until finally we find the right amount of stims, but now I feel like it would be foolish of us to do more than one more IUI after this one. Which means I've been thinking a lot about IVF, to the point that maybe I've already given up on IUI mentally and emotionally, which makes it even more frustrating when things don't seem like they're going right.
It just makes me want to throw in the towel and get on with IVF.
Phew. Good to get that off my chest. I'm feeling more positive already. Funny how writing it all down helps, isn't it?
Is There Anybody Out There?
5 months ago
Hello!! and thank you for commenting on my posts! I wish I was strong like you and never joined facebook.
ReplyDeleteI don't know much about IUI's because they don't seem to be an option for us but I know what you mean by just throwing in the towel and going for the IVF. My husband has been taking vitamins and we both have been off the coffee and alcohol and fun, even doing herbs, acupuncture, you name it. Every month when AF comes my hubby says "lets just do the IVF and be done with all this"
I know he's kinda joking, but also he's kinda not. I am sure, like there is no "just" adopt there is also no "just do IVF" but there is
a higher success rate!!
I really hope this cycle is YOUR cycle, I know there is only a 20% chance, but thats roughly the same chance nature has given most people, although paying every month for nothing in return must be so frustrating.
Writing really really does help!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are ready to give up on IUI's and jump to IVF, but I understand the reasons behind feeling this way. CD 19 is not really late, I've seen succesful IUI's up until CD22 so you are still good to go.
I'm wishing you all the luck possible for this to go as smoothly as a baby butt and that in the end you don't even have to think about IVF again. GL!!!!
Don't give up hope yet! You never know...
ReplyDeleteBut I am glad you are ready for the next step if that's what is next on this journey. Good luck...fingers crossed that this IUI turns out to be a success!
I also find that writing helps ALOT!! I'm sorry your estrogen isn't where they thought it'd be, but I think it's better if they pay attention to that and time the IUI as best as possible instead of doing it without regard to the level.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, after 2 IUI's last year, we're sort of feeling the same way... let's just go with the big guns! Here's praying neither of us have to....
I could not agree more, and on the brink of IUI #3 myself am wondering at what point are we just waiting valuable money and time! And my doc wants me to do three more IUIs after this on injectibles. My insurance has a super low yearly maximum...so I'm like why waste it on 3 more injectible IUIs at like what at least $2K a pop, when we can move this show along and save the funds for IVF, and a much higher chance a getting preggers here!
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm glad your doc is monitoring you closely...for a minute there I thought we'd both be IUIing this weekend. But better to push it back and wait for everything to be at its peak! I'm praying we'll both be laughing about how crazy we sounded wanting to jump to IVF when we get our BFPs on IUI #3!!!