My estrogen from yesterday's b/w came back and it's 169. My RE actually called me and left me a voicemail with this number, which he's never done before, so that got me worried and, of course, I started googling estrogen levels. From what I've found out it seems really low, especially for CD12, and especially with a Friday IUI.
In his voicemail my RE gave me the number and then said he was just confirming that I would be coming in on Wednesday for more monitoring. Um, I just saw him 5 hours ago, why does he need to confirm this? The only thing I can think, since he didn't mention the IUI, is that now, based on my low estrogen, he's rethinking the Friday IUI. Which I guess is good, although that would probably move the IUI to Monday, CD19, which seems really late (although in non-medicated cycles I often ovulate on CD18 or 20, so maybe this is actually more natural for me?).
Ugh. I hate this part, the week leading up to the IUI. Last cycle it was all that crazy octo.mom BS of too many follicles. I really wanted last cycle to have been a learning experience that would make this cycle absolutely perfect, with a lovely lining, a few nice sized follies and a well-timed IUI, but now it seems like maybe the gonal-f was too little this time? Or is there something wrong with me? When I saw the RE yesterday he was very positive and told me I had nice ovaries and was having a good response based on my follicles... but I'm just worried, worried, worried.
It's just that I'm tired of these IUIs. With only a 20% success rate (if that), and especially because now they're not completely covered by my insurance, it's starting to seem like we're throwing our money away. If they were covered by insurance, I might feel like we could just keep trying until finally we find the right amount of stims, but now I feel like it would be foolish of us to do more than one more IUI after this one. Which means I've been thinking a lot about IVF, to the point that maybe I've already given up on IUI mentally and emotionally, which makes it even more frustrating when things don't seem like they're going right.
It just makes me want to throw in the towel and get on with IVF.
Phew. Good to get that off my chest. I'm feeling more positive already. Funny how writing it all down helps, isn't it?