TTC Hopeful: BFN

Friday, March 12, 2010

BFN

No more IUIs. IVF is next.

I'm having a hard time. I'm in a dark place right now.

I will probably take a break from blogging for a while.

I just want to have a family... why does it have to be so hard?

16 comments:

tishiMarch 12, 2010 at 8:28 PM
oh girl I wish I new the answer to that, its all I want too!
please don't take too long of a break, we will miss you!
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DawnMarch 12, 2010 at 8:36 PM
I'm so very sorry. (((Hugs)))
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AnonymousMarch 12, 2010 at 9:22 PM
I'm so very sorry. Thinking about you.
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AlisonMarch 12, 2010 at 10:14 PM
I am so sorry. Take all the time you need...we'll be here to support you when you get back. Take care.
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Adam and JuliaMarch 12, 2010 at 10:16 PM
I am in the same boat as you. we all but gave up in october after 7 iui's. we are going to start our ivf journey on tuesday. i am here if you need an ear. sorry. it sucks!
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KimMarch 12, 2010 at 10:42 PM
Jane,
I'm so sorry. We're here for you, let us know if you need anything. take care.
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Circus PrincessMarch 13, 2010 at 1:58 AM
I'm sorry, it's so hard to stay positive when all we get is negatives. I hope you get your mojo back and find the strength to get through this. BIG HUGS
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AnonymousMarch 13, 2010 at 7:18 AM
I'm really sorry.
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bunnyMarch 13, 2010 at 7:46 AM
What a heartbreaking ordeal you must be going through. Taking the IVF plunge brings so much baggage with it, and you must just be worn down after all the IUI failures. Still, hope will renew itself and you will be ready to move on, and you WILL have a family, one way or another. You just get to suffer a lot first. Hope to see you again when you're ready.
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MarlaMarch 13, 2010 at 9:48 AM
Oh, Jane, I'm so sorry! I hate that your next step is IVF. *thinking of you*
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RebeccaMarch 13, 2010 at 11:22 AM
I'm so sorry. I wish I knew why it had to be so hard. I really do. Giant ((hugs)).
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RDMarch 13, 2010 at 5:47 PM
I'm so, so, sorry. (((hugs)))
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AnonymousMarch 14, 2010 at 11:14 AM
Huge hugs from me. I am so sorry. It was supposed to work this time. What a crushing blow. (((hugs))) Thinking of you.
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Mrs. Chapman's 2nd Grade ClassMarch 14, 2010 at 10:35 PM
I am so so sorry. No answer on the hard part...it sucks! Thinking of you. ((HUGS))
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Basic GirlMarch 15, 2010 at 3:15 PM
I've been thinking about you hun, I'm so so sorry about the BFN. I totally know how you feel right now, its a scary and sucky dark lonely place. Take all the time you need, and know we'll be here waiting for you whenever you're ready.
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"Jay"March 16, 2010 at 12:56 AM
I'm so sorry. It is so frustrating and isolating. Just know that we have all been there and can lend our support when you need it.
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Our Journey So Far...

November 2008: Began TTC. For the first 2 cycles I used OPK but did not chart.

January 2009: Started charting with Fertility Friend.

May 2009: Spoke to my OB/GYN about TTC for 6 months with no luck. He gave me clomid prescription and told me he'd refer me to RE if we didn't have success after a few months.

June 2009: First clomid cycle, unmonitored. Pain and cramping at ovulation. I decided that I would see a fertility specialist sooner rather than later - I have had cysts before and was afraid that maybe that's where my pain was coming from. BFN

July 2009: Met with RE. HSG test = all clear. SA = all good. Did another clomid cycle (100mg/day for 5 days), this time monitored. Ovidrel trigger, progesterone suppositories. Thin lining (found out later). 2 follicles, one 20.7mm, the other 15.6mm. Triggered on CD12. Beta was positive at 9dpo (HCG=9), negative at 12dpo (HCG=2). I think it was a false positive due to the HCG trigger, and doing the beta so early (!?). My RE said "I don't think so, but anything's possible." End result - BFN

August 2009: Cyst on my ovary; doctor said we'd have to skip a cycle (we tried naturally, BFN).

September 2009: First femara (5mg/day for 5 days) cycle (clomid caused visual disturbances), IUI#1. Ovidrel trigger, progesterone suppositories. Thin lining (found out later). 2 follicles: 18mm and 21mm. Triggered CD13. Had pain and cramping in the days after ovulation. Doctor said this was probably just "strong ovulation." BFN

October 2009: Took cycle off due to travel.

November 2009: Supposed to do IUI#2, but RE prescribed month off and "estrogen priming" to "quiet things down" before doing injectables next month. Tried on our own - BFN.

December 2009: IUI#2 with injectables (gonal-f), ovidrel trigger, prometrium. Thin (6.5mm) lining. 15 follicles over 10mm on CD9, and 5 that are between 15-16mm (after 6 days of 150iu gonal-f); considered switching to IVF, but instead triggered on CD10, IUI on CD12. BFN

Dec 2009-Jan 2010: 10 days of BCPs to shrink leftover follicles

January 2010: IUI #3 with injectables (gonal-f), estrogen patch CD2-15, ovidrel trigger, endometrin. Good lining this time (9.5mm). Started at 75iu of gonal-f/day (CD4) instead of 150iu and ended up having to stim for 14 days to get a mature follicle (the last 3 days at 112.5iu/day). One mature follicle at 24mm. Other smaller follicles were 12mm or smaller. Trigger CD20, IUI CD21. Short LP (12 days). BFN

February 2010: IUI #4 with injectables. BFN.

March 2010-July 2010: 4 un-medicated cycles before we move on to IVF. All BFNs.

August-September 2010: First IVF cycle. Start lupron (10 units) on cycle day 21, then "lupron period," then stims starting on CD3. 150 units gonal-f, 2 vials menopur per day (lupron down to 5 units/day). Stim for 10 days, trigger CD12, retrieval CD14. 17 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 6 fertilized normally. On day 3 we have 4 embryos left and we transfer 3 "fair to good" quality embryos (one 6 cell and two 5 cell). BFN

TTC Hopeful

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Friday, March 12, 2010

BFN

16 comments:

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