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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

An Update, Somewhat Belated

Since it's been so long, I suppose bullet points are in order:
  • I am 21 weeks and 3 days pregnant today.
  • It's a boy!
  • Everything has been going well (yes, it's difficult to write that without feeling like I'm jinxing it).
  • After my 16 week OB appointment and anatomy scan I decided that it was time to stop worrying. I thought a good first step was to: A) stop saying "hopefully" in the sentence "When we, hopefully, have a baby in October"; B) start actually letting myself buy maternity clothes and baby stuff; C) stop talking about how worried I was feeling. Although I accomplished those 3 things, on the inside I still worry. It just still feels so surreal to be pregnant. I'm actually thinking about going back to my therapist to specifically try to address this. I know it's normal to worry about your baby/child, but I don't think it's normal to constantly worry that your baby/child is going to die at any moment, and I'm starting to feel like this extreme worry is not going to go away even after I have a real live take home baby in my arms.
  • It is especially painful to me that I still have bloggers in my reader under the "still waiting for their miracles" category. I know how it feels to still be trying and to read blogs of those who have succeeded in getting pregnant. It hurts. I hope that those who are still trying who are reading this can take some comfort in the fact that I never thought I would be here, and yet I am. It will happen for you, too!
  • Thank you everyone for all the support you've given me over the last year and change. (And thanks babybaker for checking in on me! Sorry it took so long for an update!) This is such a hard road to walk. It's still hard for me, which I know must seem ridiculous.


  1. 21 weeks is great! Definitely let yourself get excited and congratulations on finding out you are having a boy!

  2. Yay for 21 weeks!! And, congrats on the boy!! :) It must make it feel so much more real!

    Wishing you much luck in transitioning to feeling more positive. I know it can be hard to do, but I think this is definitely a good step.

  3. Congrats on your little boy! I'm at 24 weeks and still worry, too. I don't think it will go away. Hopefully, though, it lessens with time. I'm getting there... I hope you do too.

  4. I'm glad to hear that all is going well!!

  5. Glad to hear all is well!!!
    The fear changes after you bring home your baby, but hopefully you'll learn to live with it and enjoy every single second of pregnancy and eventually baby boy :)

  6. good to hear an update and congrats on the boy!! glad to hear all is okay. i figured your silence was just nerves and nothing else. yaay for being more than halfway through. hope the rest of the pregnancy goes by really quickly :o) xoxo.

  7. Me too, I have been long looking for your update. I am glad you came back and that things are going well with both of you!
    Congratulations on a little boy!:)
    Please stick around, we would all like to follow your progress!;)

    Being able to switch mode on our mind is not that easy. The worries are always there, only the packaging is changing. I must believe it's a normal way to cope with all what we had to go through to get this far. I am sure you will be ok! Things will become more and more real and your world will flip over when he gets here!!!:)